In an ideal world, we would all be self confident – we’d look our best, know how and when to say just the right thing, and everything would be just peachy, right?
In real life, a lack of confidence can hold you back, and as more time passes, it’s harder to get that self-confidence back to what it once was. Luckily, here are 35 easy ways to help you out!
Looking Self Confident – Your Appearance
Self-confident people look good, because they feel good. And this works both ways – science has proved that looking good makes you feel good too. Here are some quick and easy ways to make yourself look and feel good:
- The basics – your personal hygiene. Take a shower or bath, clean and trim your nails, brush your teeth, wash your hair etc – make sure you look clean.
- Look presentable – at the very least, make sure your clothes are clean and fit right.
- Tidy your space – a tidy space can actually improve your mental health. Whether your space is a bedroom, a whole apartment or even just a desk – it’s yours and it’s in your eyesight. Keep it as tidy as possible (throw away unnecessary things and get organized), and as clean as possible. It’ll help your mind feel more relaxed and happy. Even better – display one or two items which remind you of a happy memory, or something positive you have achieved.
Acting Self Confident
This one’s a little more tricky. Start off by trying three of the suggestions below, and work your way up.
- Do the things which you enjoy – if that’s dancing, find a dancing class; if it’s knitting, then get knitting – you get the point. If you don;t have as much time to do them as you’d like – do them in the time you have.
- Find a creative outlet – all of us are creative in our own ways – so find what yours is (music, writing, acting, painting etc) and practice it! You can even get outdoors and find a class to join.
- Set yourself a challenge which you know you can complete, if you push yourself a little – e.g. learn to cook one meal. Try your best.
- Complete small things you’ve been putting off. Put that shelf up, or file away all those papers you’ve left in the ‘to file’ pile.
- Do a good deed for someone else – it’s a fact backed by scientific studies that doing good makes you feel good. Help someone carry an item they’re struggling with. Call a relative you haven’t got around to yet. Helping another person will make you feel good about yourself – and it’ll make the other person feel good too!
- Get quality sleep – sleep deprivation contributes to depression, and makes you sluggish, overeat and generally puts you in a bad mood. It’s true what they say – a good night’s sleep can do wonders for you!
- Get some exercise – even if it’s a quick walk outside, if you’re moving and getting fresh air, you’ll be releasing endorphins – the happy hormone. Try to build this into your routine.
- Eat properly – eating the right food will make you feel better and look better, not to mention will make your body work well!
- Write a list of your strengths and achievements. Keep it somewhere – like by the bathroom mirror – where you’ll see it every morning, so you can start off the day on a positive note.
Thinking Self Confident
And here’s where confidence matters most – in the way you think about yourself.
- Avoid toxic people – if a friend or someone in your environment makes you feel anything less than great about yourself, cut them out. Toxic friendships and people are one of the biggest confidence blockers out there.
- Thought Challenge those negative thoughts. You deserve to feel good about yourself, but sometimes you might need reminding of that. As well as the list mentioned above, learn to thought challenge – challenging those negative thoughts about yourself and turning them into positives. So, instead of ‘I can’t do this’, turn it into something positive – ‘l will try my best to do this’.
- Get (slightly) out of your comfort zone – try that new thing you’ve wanted to do for a while, or talk to that person you’ve been emailing face to face instead. The more you push yourself over time, the ore confident you’ll feel in new environments and situations, as you’ll have had the training.
- Feed your brain – funnel your anxiety or negative energy into something productive, like learning a new skill. A stretched brain is an active, happy brain!
- Lower your stress – work out what it is making you so stressed, and an trigger points. Then find ways to reduce these. Otherwise, find ways to let go of the stress – having a massage or taking a walk, for example.
- Identify patterns of negative thinking – do your bad experience tend to happen in exactly the same way? Work out what it is that happens each time, and find ways in which to change each of these points – if we always repeat the same pattern, we’re always going to get the same result, after all!
- Imagine someone else in your shoes – if you saw them doing the same things that you do, what would you tell them to do differently and why? Think about it, then challenge yourself to do the same.
- Remember, everyone is watching themselves, not you – scared you made yourself look bad? Not sure if your shirt is that flattering? Think about the last time you noticed those things in other people – you won’t come up with many (if any) examples – that’s because while you are busy worrying about yourself and how other people see you – those other people are doing the same thing about themselves too.
- Recognize that sometimes ‘it doesn’t matter’– so you made a mistake in that report. So you fell over in front of everyone. We’re all only human, after all, and most of them have had the same thing happen to them. Sometimes, things ‘just don’t matter’. Say it out loud.
General Self Confidence Tips
These are more challenging – and great things to challenge yourself with!
- Say ‘yes’. When you’re invited out somewhere, and your initial reaction is to not go – take a chance – go for a little while, but go. you never know who you’ll meet, or what you’ll experience.
- Take the ‘smile challenge’. Do something every single day that will make you smile. You decide what it is, but do it 🙂
- Focus on the present and future. Don’t dwell on the past – it’s cliche and it’s true. Don’t get held back by things you did or said – instead, learn from them, and focus on building a better present and future.
- Learn how to confront people – if someone puts you down, talks over you or is anything other than respectful and polite, learn to confront them on their behavior, and not shy away. Explain to them how their behavior makes you feel, and how that isn’t acceptable.
- Know that you CAN and WILL do it -you’ve got through difficult situations before, and you can and will get through this one too (and the next, and the ones after that…).
- Avoid drama – drama is not worth your time. Don’t get swept up in any drama. Avoid people who bring drama too. remember – there’s always a tomorrow – today will end at some point.
- Learn to trust your gut instinct – they’re often right. If something doesn’t feel right, listen to what your gut is telling you.
- Don’t compare yourself to others – you are you, not them. they have had different experiences, circumstances and challenges than you have. Don’t compare apples to oranges. Remember to recognize your own value and experiences.
- Speak up – if you see something which can be improved or changed, then make sure you let people know about it. Don’t be shy. Listen to this great TED talk on how (and why) you should speak up for yourself.
- Ask for help – it’s not a sign of weakness. If you’ve tried to get something done for a while and it’s still not working for you – ask for someone’s opinion or help. There’s strength in accepting support.
- Don’t worry about being shy – hey, confidence doesn’t grow overnight. Focus on getting yourself out of your comfort zone, and do what you can, as you can. You’ll be less shy in no time.
- Get stuff done – the longer you leave things, the more daunting and off-putting it becomes. learn to get the small things out the way – and plan time to get the bigger things done too.
- Accept this is a process, not a race – becoming a more confident person, to repeat the above – is not going to happen overnight. Keep going at your own pace, and trying to push yourself as much as you can, in your own time.
- Go a new way – try something new – a new recipe, a new restaurant, a new way home – familiarity turns into normality. Try something new and see something new – you never know what it might be!
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Also published on Medium.